I think it’s fair to say this post has been a long time coming. A feminist blog without strong undertones of HELL YEAH GIRL YOU ROCK DAT SIZE EIGHTEEN BOOTY, what am I thinking?
I think the main reason is, I struggled to be positive about my own body for a very long time and I felt kind of unqualified to spread positivity that I was lacking in myself.
I am a UK size 10-12, 5 ft 3 and my weight fluctuates between 8.5 and 9 stone. I have absolutely nothing to complain about.
YET I have spent so many days thinking; “I wish I was slim enough to wear that” or “I have nothing to wear that doesn’t make me look disgusting!!”
I think nowadays, I don’t have an issue with my body image but rather an issue with my self image. I worry about how others perceive me, how they view my body language and what I say as well as how I look.
I have an anxiety problem.
I always feel like I’m going to say the wrong thing, that I might make myself look stupid or come across as an idiot. I recently attended a few job interviews and in the ones I wanted I really wanted, I messed up because of nerves. The morning of one, I felt like I was about to pass out on my way there and when I arrived I was light headed, shaky and sweating.
The point is, that’s an issue with my general self and not my body image and when I think about it, I have a pretty positive view of my body.
FIND YOUR BALANCE
I’ve accepted that the lifestyle I lead of an office day job, blogging in my spare time and reading (which I bloody love) and the diet I follow of take-out pizza, Mexican and marmite on toast (which I also bloody love) doesn’t allow for a size eight, toned body.
My boyfriend accepts me just as I am too and doesn’t let a day by without telling me I’m beautiful. GO HIM.
I think the key to having a happy and healthy body image is finding the right balance between your lifestyle and diet. I’ve accepted that if I want a take away at lunch I really need to walk to work (or I will end up much larger than I am happy being.)
If like myself you don’t necessarily worry about your overall size but rather your wobbly bobbly bits -as I like to call them- then It’s worth applying the advice that you would give somebody in my situation where I worry about people noticing the sweat on my upper lip – NOBODY IS LOOKING THAT INTENTLY AT YOU.
Seriously, even if somebody does notice it (be it the sweat on your lip or the love handles you think you have) they’re not going to think any worse of you. Like HOW judgemental do you think other people are?
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
There was also a time in my life where I was quite a bit larger and it was starting to get me down. I accepted that my happy weight was somewhere between 8 and 9 stone and through permanent lifestyle changes- I lost 3 stone.
TBF I was eating the most disgusting food. It was towards the end of second year of uni, I was 22 and I did all my food shopping in Iceland. My diet comprised mostly of onion rings, garlic bread, curly fries and oven pizzas. Beige dinners we called them. I was bloated and miserable and Lord Jesus I looked like I was pregnant.
That summer I used the infamous MyFitnessPal to count every calorie I ate. I don’t think I went over once. I was militant about it.
My dad had also turned our garage into a sort of temporary home gym complete with rowing machine. I took advantage of that too. A gym membership would be a suitable alternative if you don’t live with a health freak.
Once I got back to Leicester, the exercise regime stopped but some healthy habits stuck. I know my portion size better, I am naturally so much more aware of how many calories I am eating. There are tons of other methods of losing weight but I feel where some people miss out is patience. Losing weight takes TIME.
Like be prepared to get frustrated with yourself and want to smack your thigh fat. But don’t.
Eventually the weight comes off and when it does and you feel noticeably smaller and people begin to comment on how good you look- MY GOD DOES IT FEEL GOOD.
It feels like slapping your childhood bully and managing to put a whole chocolate orange in your mouth at the same time and that is what will keep you going until you reach your goal weight.
ACCEPT THAT BEAUTY COMES IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES
I like them tall girls, I like them short girls, I like them brown haired girls, I like them blonde haired girls, I like them big girls, I like them skinny girls, I like them carrying a little bit of weight girls.
SERIOUSLY CALVIN, YOU GO SISTAAA
But just look at that plus size model just above and tell me she’s not got the most fabulous body you’ve ever seen?
It isn’t just these hourglass girls who I get crazy envious of. You can rock whatever size you are simply by dressing to suit it. I’m always jealous of girls with boyish figures and small hips when I see them in high fashion clothes and leather boots and… how does a figure that I’m describing as boyish look so damn cute and feminine?
And now I’ve spent so much time pondering what it would be like to have a really different and interesting figure instead of average and scrolling through Pinterest looking at fabulous curvaceous women and it’s making me feel kind of boring.
Who cares, us average weight girls can pull off a huge variety of looks!
PLUS I am fed up of seeing those “real women have curves” slogans slapped over a big chick because actually real women are all women like don’t even think about suggesting a woman is not real because she either naturally boasts a slim figure or takes pride over her fitness & health, how ridiculous!
Are you a body positive person? How do you think about the subject? Do you perhaps struggle with your weight?