It’s been a while since I vented with a massive emosh post but I feel like it’s time to put these regrets down publicly and leave them there. Getting this off my chest has made me feel like it’s all over, that I’m right back on top again which I am!
1. Leaving my job at TalkTalk to move to E2Save
Although I spoke about this briefly on my blog I never really went into what happened in my career in 2015.
I was doing Inbound Sales for TalkTalk through a company (then) called Solution Marketing. The pay was fantastic but the company expected a minimum of 52 hours a week on a rather nasty shift pattern. After almost a year they offered an outbound position for Plusnet with much better hours but after a couple of months of working in that department I realised that a) their management was completely messed up and b) the job was making me miserable. I quit the day I realised and the same day interviewed for a position at a small company called AT Management who had a contract with E2Save (an affiliate of Carphone Warehouse.)
My time there was interesting, I found myself hitting well above target and getting plenty of bonus but once again took a new opportunity that arose. I helped start up the Sky broadband campaign which went well for a few months before the managing director stopped investing in data and let it slowly come to a stop. The company became worse and worse with the best management and sales people all leaving so I followed suit and left for my current position for a well known insurance broker.
My regret is AT Management. I met just 2 people there who I didn’t already know and I now hold pretty close but aside from that the whole place was a waste of time and energy. If I had come to my current position sooner, I’d probably be part of the management team by now.
2. Moving into a one bed flat
Last year I left my tenancy with an (at the time) friend for reasons which looking back, didn’t really make sense. It was beautiful, had two bathrooms and two bedrooms as well as a nicely sized balcony.
I then moved to a one bed flat in the city which after four months became unaffordable and cramped. It ended up being let to my friend (and now housemate) instead while I moved into another friend’s to save money.
I could have gone for a house when I left the beautiful flat but I had no idea that a few weeks later my old friend Max would have walked back into my life in need of a job and a home and a stable friend. If I had, I would have gone for the house or kept my 2 bed apartment.
3. Being too trusting of the wrong people
I think 2015 was the year I learnt the true meaning of friendship. I had some damn tough times and a few people stood by my side and quite literally saved my life.
I am so so glad for those people who helped me through so much and who took me into their home earlier this year (yes Asha & Soph obviously this is about you) and showed me what it’s like to have friends who are like family.
What I regret though is trusting the wrong people. I regret allowing someone who had been so obviously un-trustworthy and indiscreet about their dishonesty to get so close to me. I regret how easily we all let them walk away without much consequence. I regret letting a sociopath mess with my head.
4. Installing Tinder after my break up in March
Why oh why do I have it installed again now? It’s full of weird men who still live with their parents or have baby mama drama or just want to play games.
Seriously though the dating game is dead. I can’t remember the last time a (non-creepy) guy who asked for my number or told me I looked cute or bought me a drink.
Sometimes I wonder if once you reach your mid twenties whether its only the losers who are left. Like all the good ones are already married off and youre just left with the ones who went bald early or have loads of baggage.
On the note of baggage, that’s my regret for this one. I regret installing Tinder because it led me to a man with baggage. So much baggage in fact that he has to pay an extra fee on check in. Shame he didn’t realise it until his things were unpacked.
5. Not spending enough time with my family.
Not my Leicester family but my actual real life blood family. They were living in St Albans (where I mostly grew up) until November last year and it was only a simple two hour train journey home. They now live down by the coast in Worthing (just west of Brighton) and it involves a London change and Brighton change to get there. It also costs a bunch more and takes much longer.
I regret not visiting them while they were nearer and having more time and a last Christmas in my childhood home. I moreso regret not spending more time with them or seeing them enough. I feel like I missed out on a big year in my brothers life and could have been there so much more for my mum and to allow her to be there for me.
Its not like I don’t have time so I want to go spend a week with my mum over the summer- plus take advantage of my parents’ home by the sea. I’m seeing my mum (and maybe auntie) soon as they’re coming to see my new house.