Girl hate is a phenomenon in which women put down other women. Mostly down to feelings of envy or insecurity, girl hate is a kind of internalised misogyny which we need to make a conscious effort to avoid. Having gone to an all girls high school, there were times where I was a victim of girl hate and times where I was the perpetrator and I don’t think there’s a woman out there who can honestly say she hasn’t been a part of it.
Girl hate comes in the form of snide comments, mean tweets or even looks across the street. It is judging other women’s decisions and talking badly about them. It is one of the reasons why the word “bitch” has become so common.
I feel that somehow girl hate has been embedded into our society and that there are a lot of women out there who disassociate themselves from the female gender because of how society as a whole views women.
Girl hate is saying things like…
“I’m not like other girls”
Removing yourself from how society views women makes you just as bad as those with the bad views. Acknowledge that women aren’t actually how we are portrayed. We are diverse and we are not defined by our gender (WOMEN ARE PEOPLE.) This makes me sad because I used to say things like this in my late teens when I thought I was super cool and different. It was when I hung out with boys all the time and before I realised that I was like ‘other girls’.
“I don’t get along with other women”
Like I mentioned above, I hung out with boys all the time and had no friends that were female except a couple of other tomboys who’s views were similar to mine. My views on women can’t have been positive or I would have wanted to associate myself with womanhood more. How can we possibly expect equality if not all women are standing up for and helping other women?
We need women rooting for women!
Although the 12 year old me who saw and loved Mean Girls at the cinema probably wasn’t calling other girls sluts and whores just yet, she just didn’t get the advice given. Ms Norberry (played by my potential soulmate Tina Fey) had it right all along. Putting down other women is only going to make men think it’s okay to put us down in the same way.
It’s all well and good stopping the judgmental comment that you were about to blurt out about your neighbour’s ‘slutty’ skirt rather than simply eliminating this angst towards women. We should actively go about counteracting such behaviour. Stick up for other women, leave positive and encouraging comments.
It should be all “you go girl!” not “you hoe girl!” and try and give somebody the self-confidence boost that you could have done with on a bad day.
Set a good example for everybody else.