THE CRAZY EX COMPLEX

When people fall out of love or break up or are just feeling hurt they try to hurt one another. They try to make it look like they ‘won’ because let’s face it, it’s easier than explaining the truth.

Oh, you and blah blah broke up, what happened? 

Dude, she was psycho!

It’s all too familiar. I’ve been referred to as psycho by exes before, it’s nothing unusual because love makes people crazy. It makes people act in ways they wouldn’t with their friends or even family.

But surely; I cheated on her so she kicked me out or we were fighting too often would be a good enough answer.

I’m not saying this is entirely a gendered issue, but from my experience of having both male and female friends, it’s said by men about women more often than women about men.

Realistically, how many of your boyfriends, brothers, colleagues or friends have referred to an ex-girlfriend as crazy?

I have friends who’ve broken up with girls that I knew, girls that I had met or were friends with. who certainly were not psycho. I’ve heard the guys side of the story and it usually omits the cheating or lying part.

If she didn’t want you in her house after you physically attacked her, she’s not mental, she’s standing her ground.

If you have done something emotionally or physically that was completely out of line, she will probably react emotionally or physically to that too.

I tell you what crazy is.

Crazy would be coming home to find she has shit in every single one of your shoes.

Crazy would be if she shredded every last one of your possessions, wrapped them in bacon and fed them to your dog.

Crazy would be hacking your social media accounts and deleting all your profiles.

Or stalking you.

If however, one party was actually suffering with their mental health and was delusional about the reality of a scenario despite all evidence and really was acting in a way that would constitute crazy, then surely as somebody who (/had once) loved them, you’d be looking to get them help instead of spreading the words to your mates?

My point is that behind every ‘crazy’ woman, there’s a man who drove her crazy in the first place.

The problem is that nobody wants to admit they fucked up, they want to look like the victim instead of taking responsibility.

Heres a phrase that really stuck with me, it was referenced in a book I read and when I Google it I get lots of different sources.

Hurt people hurt people.

Have you or one of your friends been referred to as psycho or crazy? Or have you got a friend who persistently refers to their ex as mental? Leave a comment below.

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8 Comments

  1. Wow, that quote “Hurt people hurt people” is amazing. I’d never heard it before but this is so simple but *so* right. I know I’ve gotten a little frantic after being hurt before. Luckily, the guy knew he was in the wrong so he never called me crazy, just accepted my tirade of anger and abuse, and I was never called crazy. What a great post. Thank you for sharing it!

    Hannah x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Omg this was an amazing read! I think the whole human population needs to read this, including my own other half haha thanks for sharing!

    Jessica
    Foodandbaker.co.uk

    Like

  3. 100% feel for this! I can really relate, I’ve been called psycho and never done anything like any of the things you talked about in this post.

    Laura F
    (ps. Love your blog!)

    Like

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