Occasionally I’ll find myself feeling conflicted about how my morals align with how I live my life. I feel like I have most things down and I follow my own guidelines when it comes to ethics but there a few things that are making me like a bad feminist; certain things I do or take part in that conflict with the moral ground I’ve set for myself. I am yet to work out if some of these things are just coincidental or me genuinely being a shitty feminist…

This always takes my mind to the episode of Fresh Meat where Howard (in an attempt to remain a good feminist) googles Ethically Sourced Free Range Porn and finds… nothing. There is some porn which is specifically aimed at a female audience and is a little more on the real side than your standard dirty vid but the industry in general is extremely messed up. Yet somehow, I still find myself watching it as much as the next guy. I’ve always felt that sense of moral conflict while I’m scrolling through redtube but at the same time, as there isn’t any ethically sourced free range porn (and the porn aimed at women tends to be tame and boring) I am forever fighting a battle against my own dirty mind.

Singing along to Riot Grl bands that condemn society for expecting women to shave their legs, pits and other bits but then also shaving off almost every hair on my body again puts me in a moral conflict. Why do I do it? I’m used to it. I like it. I feel sexier with smooth legs and underarms and a neat little patch of pubic hair. I don’t do it because I have to, at least I don’t think I do. But there’s always that looming feeling that maybe I subconciously do. Maybe I’m just telling myself that it’s for me when in actuality, it’s an expectation of women therefore something I commit to out of societal pressure. I can’t even state here that I’d be willing to try not shaving because I just don’t feel sexy with a hairy hoo-hah…

This ones a little weird because I could never say that I wouldn’t date a trans person or someone who’s not gender binary. However, where I do feel a conflict is the fact that as a bisexual woman, I only date/sleep with manly men and feminine women… and isn’t that kinda fucked up? I’m against gender roles and gender expectations and I myself am quite “tomboy”ish. But when it comes to dating another woman, I like them to be quite feminine. I like long hair and a touch of makeup and basically I don’t fancy lesbians who look like Justin Bieber. And I’m the same about blokes; I like them manly and bearded and rough around the edges. But is it just preference or is it because deep down, gender norms are so ingrained in me?

Do you ever feel like you’re contradicting any of your morals? Leave a comment below and let me know!


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1 Comment

  1. I love this post!! Itโ€™s something i often do struggle with but i think the great thing about being a feminist is the choice. Thats, what i Feel, feminism is about. We shave our armpits because we want to not because we feel we have to. Iโ€™ve just shaved my legs for the first time in a year. Only because I got sent a razor in a beauty sub box and really wanted to try it. Itโ€™s something all women go through i think. Least we have each other to ask these questions to and get no judgments (for the most part) xxcx


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