2017 has changed me so much already. Reflecting back on 2016, it was by far the worst year of my life. I went through so much shit like losing my job, losing my home, losing my best friend and watching one girl hurt one of my closest friends beyond belief. It was an awful year and so I set my expectations for 2017 quite a bit higher. The first few months were transitional (you can read about them here) I decluttered and simplified my life and everything changed in a very short space of time.
The second quarter of 2017 has been a lot less dramatic but nonetheless, progress has been made. I feel happy and healthy for the first time in years. I have control over my mental health (read about my bipolar here) and I have undertaken a wellbeing plan that has made a ton of difference.
You may have read my recent confessional post where I talked about a bad habit I’ve had for over a decade and I finally kicked it (wasn’t even hard tbf lol) but I feel like a new person because of it and I finally feel like I have a clear head and I have my confidence back which I’ve literally not had since I was 15. This allowed me to deal with my mental health difficulties head on and I built myself an action plan for my overall wellbeing which seems to be working wonders so far. I still have a little way to go but I am legit the most comfortable and happy I have ever been in my life.
I’ve tried to be more concious about how I spend my time and I think quitting my bad habit was a big part of this. I’ve had more time for reading and music and socialising and just being a normal human instead of hiding away at home getting stoned.
As part of my wellbeing plan I spent some time reevaluating my priorities and as part of this I cut out some negative people from my life as well as strengthening some of the positive relationships that were born from blogging. I’ve made more of an effort to keep my family in the loop as well as some old friends and I finally have a support system in place who actually know what’s going on in my life.
I’ve been trying more new things and I’ve stopped holding myself back from social events that I would have previously been too anxious to attend. I tried pole dancing with one of my new colleagues and even though it didn’t work out, we had fun giving it a go. I even attended a house party where I knew nobody at all (which I NEVER would have done a few months ago) and surprisingly I wasn’t the nervous shaking wreck I had pictured in my mind but instead I managed to be confident and meet people and have great conversations. I’ve also arranged a few events for the year so I’ve got something to look forward to.
This month I took nearly two weeks annual leave for some well needed rest, adventures and family time. I kicked it off with a trip to Manchester with my new boyfriend which was awesome. We went to see Iron Chic live and Joe treated me to their album on Vinyl (which he then went and got signed for me by the band, little cutie!) When I returned to Leicester I had to take a days rest as I’d been drinking for 6 days straight and my body was giving up on me but before I headed off on my next adventure I met up with Charlotte (of DiscoveringCharlotte) for brunch and a catch up. I then went down to Brighton to see my friend Elise and my parents in Worthing before one final trip up to Leeds to see Bouncing Souls… it was a jam packed 11 days and made me realise just how fortunate I am.
Most importantly over the past few months, I became comfortable and happy in myself. I feel like the confident, unapoligetic version of myself that I should be. I’ve had a fantastic few months and I met someone really amazing (who I think probably wouldn’t have liked the version of me that existed just a few months ago.) I just feel so blessed but also deserving of all the good things in my life right now. I went through shit to get here and now I have a career, relationships and home that make me happy.
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– photos by Rebecca Claire, libfemblog.com –
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